CHAPTER FIFTEEN
 

 The following Chapter is in no way intended to upset or make fun of anything that happened on September 11^th 2001. It was a sad day for all and what I depict in the next Chapter is something that I am grateful most artists did and if I was an artist like I am in the story I could see myself being part of what is being depicted. Also I used the ‘The Concert For New York’ as a basis for the idea of this chapter. A lot of what is in here has some truth but most of it is fiction. I wasn’t there and I didn’t perform so if any of it is exactly what happened there it was by complete accident. With that said, if this Chapter is going to upset you in anyway because it deals with the events that happened on September 11^th please skip it. You will not miss much and can probably understand the rest of the story without it. With that said, enjoy the next Chapter if you’ve decided to read it.

I sighed softly listening to our management talk about the concert we were doing tonight. We were back in New York and to tell you the truth I really didn’t want to be. Memories of the first night I met Michelle were flooding my mind like a rapid river and it was all triggered because I first met Michelle in New York.

“You guys will be performing ‘Quit Playing Games With My Heart’,” I heard our management say.

“That doesn’t sound quite appropriate though,” Brian countered.

“Okay Brian, what do you think YOU guys should perform?”

I looked at Brian who looked like he was deep in thought. After a few minutes he sighed and began his explanation.

“I believe we should perform ‘Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely’,” he said with a nod, “It just sounds like it would be more appropriate.”

“Brian, in all honesty with what happened and the memories everyone has, do you think you or the rest of us could make it through that song dry eyed?” Kevin asked.

Brian had the biggest scare out of all of us. Leighanne was supposed to be on one of those flights but at the last minute changed her mind. Not only did he have that scare but one of our tech’s crew members was on one of the flights. I knew personally I wouldn’t have made it through that song dried eyed, and doubt any of the others would too.

“I don’t think so,” Brian gave in.

“Then it’s settled, ‘Quit Playing Games…’ it is. Besides that EVERYONE knows that song,” our management said sounding like they were winning a boxing match or something.

We all gave a little sigh. Lately it seemed that we didn’t even have a choice over what we would perform anymore, but our management knew what they were doing so I wasn’t about to lash out against them.

“The concert starts at 7pm. You guys are to show up there at 4pm so we can get sound check and who is introducing you organized. Other than that you’re free for now.”

We all nodded getting up to walk out of the room.

“Hey Nick! Where ya going?”

I stopped walking down the hall and turned around to see J jogging up to me.

“Back to the hotel, I want to rest a little before going to sound check.”

“Michelle still not talking to you?” he asked as we continued our trek out to where the van was.

“Yeah, I’ve tried everything J. She just won’t give me the time of day.”

“Dude, it’s so obvious.”

“What is?” I asked looking at him like he’s lost his mind.

“The girl likes you and doesn’t want to admit it.”

“How do you know that?”

J looked at me with a wicked smile, “Because I’m talking to her best friend.”

“Liz told you?” I asked my eyes getting wide. “That does explain a lot though.”

“Doesn’t it. Just keep being yourself Nick. She’s bound to give in eventually,” he said climbing into the van.

I followed him and sat down thinking of what he said. I really hope she would cave in because it was literally killing me that I couldn’t talk to her. The other day at the pool was a pretty big slap in the face but now that I think about it she did seem to act differently towards me then the other guys.

When we made it back to our hotel room I instantly crashed. I woke up to this loud banging on my door. I stumbled over to it opening it gently leaning against the frame rubbing my eyes with the back of my free hand.

“What?”

“Nick!? You’re still sleeping?”

I looked out and saw the Michelle was standing there in a pair of sweats and a tank top. Her hair was now a dark blonde/light brown color which was a surprise to me because it was still the funky colors when I saw her this morning.

“Yeah why?”

“The van is leaving in ten minutes. I’m glad I came to see if you were up or not.”

She was smiling looking at me and I shrugged, “Thanks. Like the hair why’d you go and dye it again?”

“It’s my natural color, well almost; it’s a shade darker then the natural color.”

I nodded, “I like it better this way,” I said running my fingers through the little bit that was hanging over her shoulder.

She blushed causing me to smile, “The next step is to cut it,” she stated looking at me.

“Why? I like it the length it is.”

“Thanks, but I’m ready for a change, maybe just a few inches… anyways hurry up and get ready we don’t have much time to get to Madison Square Garden,” she said backing up a little and then walking away.

I shut my door and literally was ready to scream. She said more then two words to me! We had a decent conversation! Maybe J was right, maybe she was starting to cave a little.

* * * *

~4pm October 20^th~

I sighed softly as I walked around the arena looking at all the people who showed up to either speak or perform. There were so many people here that it literally brought tears to my eyes. Memories flooded my mind, some good, some bad, but none the less they were memories that would now keep me going for the rest of my life. I felt an arm slip around my shoulders and I looked up to see Nick standing there.

“You look like you could use a hug,” he said looking down at me.

I nodded and the tears started to fall that I was trying so hard to contain. I didn’t care at this moment of how I felt or what I thought I should do, I just needed a shoulder to cry on and he was there. He pulled me closer to him letting me cry. I knew he didn’t know why I was crying but he didn’t judge me or push me away, instead he was the friend I needed at that moment. When I was done I pulled away and wiped my eyes feeling really silly for crying.

“I’m sorry Nick,” I said looking back at the stage beings I was standing in the middle listening to my band do sound check.

“Don’t be. I might not know what exactly goes on in your pretty little head but I’m never going to push you away. I knew something was bothering you and that’s why I came up here in the first place. No matter what you think or say Michelle, you’re still my best friend.”

I looked at him and smiled, “Thanks Nick. It’s nice to know that someone besides Liz, Riss, and Court cares.”

“Believe it or not all of us guys do.”

I leaned up against him resting my head on his shoulder, while he kept his arm around my shoulders and let out a soft sigh, “You guys just keep helping me through my hard times whether you guys know it or not.”

He looked at me and smiled. I knew he had no idea what I was talking about but I knew that after tonight he would have a better understanding.

“I better go down there and sing a few notes…” I said heading back down.

“I’m gonna sit here, I’ll let you know how it sounds.”

I looked over my shoulder at him, “Thanks Nick,” I said running the rest of the way down and climbing up on the stage. I sang a few lines from the songs I would be singing that night. Nick and I were satisfied with it and I headed to the back stage area to start getting ready for the big concert.

“Star!” I turned around to see one of the producers running up to me.

“Yes,” I said watching her.

“We were wondering if you would introduce someone tonight,” she said looking at her clip board, “We had someone call the last minute saying they couldn’t make it.”

“I’d love to just tell me who it is,” I said placing my hands in the back pockets of my jeans.

“The Backstreet Boys, you’ll walk out with the Davis family and they’ll help you introduce them.”

My eyes went wide with the mention of that last name, “Are they here?”

“Yeah, they are right back there,” she finished pointing to a waiting area back stage, “You can go introduce yourself the two girls are so adorable, you’ll love them. And what’s even better is the youngest is a huge Backstreet Boy fan and the oldest adores you,” she rambled, “so you’re gonna do it for us?”

“Yes I’ll do it,” I said leaving her there literally running to where she pointed.

I literally burst through the door when I reached it and scanned the room. Sure enough my thoughts were right. There sitting on the far corner of the room was Martha, Allison, and Alisha Davis. They looked like they were praying and the tears started to come again.

“Why them?” I asked God silently.

I walked over to them and silently sat down. The girls looked at me as I leaned in and hugged all of them in one big hug, no words needed to be spoken between us. I swore that at that moment I was going to sing with all my heart tonight for them and for everyone else that risked their lives or lost them that tragic day especially Billy, Hope, and Cindy.

* * * *

“Michelle’s on!” Marissa whispered waving to us.

We all gathered around backstage at the part where we could easily see her performance but no one in the audience could see us. The stage was completely black then a single white beam of light fell upon Michelle. She was in a pair of black leather pants that hung on her hips topped with a huge silver belt. Her shirt was white sleeveless tank with an American flag going diagonally on it. She had a black cowboy hat on and a blue and red twisted scarf tied with a knot on her right arm with the ends flowing free. When she looked up I noticed that her trademark star on her right eye was red and glittery with a blue lighten bolt going through it. She meant business and she wanted everyone to know it now. She had this rock attitude about her tonight and it surprised everyone including myself.

“She normally isn’t like that,” Riss whispered while taking some pictures.

“I know… she has an attitude tonight, obviously she wants people to listen,” Liz whispered back.

I just watched as she started to say some things.

She was sitting on a stool with a mic and stand in front of her. She looked down for a few seconds then looked out at the audience that consisted of firefighters and policemen and their families.

“First off I want to start by saying, how in the hell am I supposed to follow Bon Jovi? The man is awesome, there’s no way to follow that or out perform his performance.”

The crowd started cheering then got quiet again and I noticed she was looking back at the ground. Again she brought her attention to the audience as she spoke.

“September 11^th was a sad day for all Americans. I, myself, lost people close to me that day. Tonight we honor the firefighters and policemen that risk their lives to save the people that were trapped in the twin towers, but I also want to honor those whose lives were taken much too fast and tragically on that day. I lost a total of three people that horrible day, all of which were very close to me. Two were people who graduated high school with me and the other was a retired police officer from my home town of Ft. Pierce, Florida.”

She stopped and I could see that she was close to tears but she continued anyway and I realized that she was giving everybody a small piece of her life that no one has ever seen.

“You go girl,” I heard Liz whisper softly.

“My portion of my concert tonight is dedicated to those three people who had more of an impact on my life then they will ever know,” Michelle finished as her music started to play for the first tune.

When the words left her mouth I was completely speechless and no one in the arena dared to move. There were no words in the human language to describe the effect that washed over the place but no one dared to do anything but listen.

 I had a dream…
Of the wide open prairie
I had a dream…
Of the pale morning sky
I had a dream…
That we flew on golden wings
And we were the same...
Just the same…
You and I

 Follow your heart…
Little child of the west wind
Follow the voice…
That’s calling you home
Follow your dreams…
But always remember me
I am your brother… yeah
Under the sun

 We are
Like birds of a feather
We are
Two hearts joined together
We will be forever as one
My brother under the sun

 Wherever you hear…
The wind in the canyon
Wherever you see...
The buffalo run
Wherever you go…
I’ll be there beside you…
Cuz you are my brother….
My brother under the sun

 We are
Like birds of a feather
We are
Two hearts joined together
We will be forever as one
My brother under the sun

 Under the sun

 Under the sun

 My brother under the sun

(Brothers Under The Sun, Bryan Adams)

Her music never stopped but you knew she was going into another song. My eyes filled up with tears as the chords started playing and up above her on the big screen pictures of the heroes saving lives started to show. She really put time into how her performance was going to be, she was out to touch people with songs and music she had written herself in the past week alone. The sad thing is; I know she didn’t know she was touching more people then she would have ever expected.

Sound the bugle now…
Play it just for me…
As the seasons change,
Remember how, I used to be…
Now I can’t go on…
I can’t even start…
I’ve got nothing left…

 Just an empty heart…

 I’m a soldier,
Wounded so I must give up the fight,
There’s nothing more,
For me,
Lead me away…
Or leave me lying here…

 Sound the bugle now…
Tell them I don’t care…
There’s not a road I know,
That leads to anywhere…

 Without a light I,
Fear that I will stumble in the dark,
Lay right down and decide not to go on,
Then from on high,
Somewhere in the distance…

 There’s a voice that calls,
Remember who you are…
If you lose yourself…
Your courage soon will follow,
So be strong tonight…
Remember who you are…

 Yeah…
You’re a soldier now,
Fighting in a battle,
To be free once more…

 Ya… THAT’S WORTH FIGHTING FOR

(Sound The Bugle, Bryan Adams)

The stage went black and the audience started to cheer. I watched and wondered what was going on then all of a sudden out of no where you heard her yell…

You can’t take me…. YA…

Pyrotechnics went off and she started walking down from her band along with her lead guitar player, the chair and mic stand from the prior two songs were gone. She started working the stage getting the audience in it. I knew that this one was just for them where as the other ones were for the people she lost. I never knew that day hit her harder then it did us. Losing one and almost another was hard enough; I don’t know how I would have handled losing three people I knew. I continued to watch loving her performance even more.

Got to fight another fight…
I gotta run another night…
Get it out,
Check it out…
I’m on my way and it don’t feel right,
I gotta get me back
I can’t be beat and that’s a fact
It’s OK I’ll find a way
You ain’t gonna take me down no way
Ya…

 Don’t judge a thing until you know what’s inside it,
Don’t push me I’ll fight it,
Never gonna give in never gonna give it up no…

 If you can’t catch a wave then you’re never gonna ride it,
You can’t come uninvited,
Never gonna give in never gonna give it up no…
You can’t take me,
I’m free

I watched as she leaned down and exchanged hats with a police officer. She continued to perform and the crowd continued to get into it. She definitely was going to make something about her career in music, she was that dedicated.

Why did it all go wrong?
I wanna know what’s goin’ on,
And what’s this holding me?
I’m not where I’m supposed to be,
I gotta fight another fight
I gotta fight with all my might
I’m getting out, so check it out
You’re in my way
Ya, you better watch out

 Oh come on…

 Don’t judge a thing until you what’s inside it,
Don’t push me I’ll fight it,
Never gonna give in never gonna give it up no…

 If you can’t catch a wave then you’re never gonna ride it,
You can’t come uninvited,
Never gonna give in never gonna give it up no…
You can’t take me,
I’M FREE!

 Oh yeah I’m free

(Can’t Take Me, Bryan Adams)

Out of no where her lead guitar player threw her his guitar and she started whaling out the last few cords of the song surprising everybody watching.

“I never knew she could play,” AJ said just as astonished as the rest of us.

“No one knew,” Liz said softly as the song ended and Michelle got her cowboy hat back and ran off the stage to where we were standing.

We looked at her and she smiled pushing past us running to only god knows where. I wanted to go after her but I knew that she needed to be alone right now beings this was probably the hardest concert she would ever have to perform in her life.

* * * *

“It’s time,” some one said to me. I looked up to see Mrs. Davis standing in front of me.

It was now the Backstreet Boys’ turn to perform and that meant I had to go back out on stage with a family who didn’t deserve this tragedy to happen to them and introduce the Backstreet Boys. We walked out on stage and were instantly greeted with cheers from the audience. I was still in the outfit that I performed in and I wasn’t planning on changing.

I waited a few seconds before I started talking. Allison and Alisha stood in front of me while Martha stood beside me. I took a deep breathe and began my introduction.

“Standing with me is the Davis family. I actually had the pleasure to meet the entire family here a couple of weeks ago. Now they stand with me incomplete. Mr. Robert Davis was the Captain of the New York Fire Department precinct 54. He was one of the first to arrive on the scene after the first call about tower one was made,” I took a deep breathe fighting back tears as I continued, “He was there when tower two was hit and was the first person in that building herding the people, both injured and non, out into the safety of the streets. He loved his job and loved the life that god gave him to live. He lived everyday to the fullest and risked his life to save those around them hoping to make a difference with what he did. Well, he did make a difference. He saved a total of 235 lives that awful day, and unfortunately he was in tower two helping more civilians out when it came crashing down.”

I reached up and wiped a stray tear from my eye as Martha placed a hand on my shoulder. I took another deep breath and continued.

“His youngest is battling a disease that has no cure and with him gone the medical bills will start to add up. One thing that Martha Davis did find out is that behind her back her husband had made an account for his youngest to help with the medical expenses if something were to happen to him. Now more than ever, the love for Mr. Robert Davis is as strong as it has ever been. He will be missed but he will never be unloved.”

The audience erupted into cheers. I smiled as Alisha hugged me with her frail form letting me know everything was ok.

“The next group to perform is not only one of my favorites, but one of Alisha’s too. Alisha would please introduce the next group?”

Alisha nodded and looked out at the audience. Her weak voice echoed through out the arena as she spoke, “Everybody, the Backstreet Boys!”

The light’s went out on our side and lit up on the performance stage and the audience went nuts. I wiped more tears away as Kevin talked about how they were affected. I walked off stage to where my seat was to watch their performance. After they were done they all came down and sat with Liz, Riss, Court, and me. We all watched more performances and speeches.

I was getting a little restless that was until Bon Jovi walked out onto the stage.

“Good evening y’all!” he said looking out at the audience. “I have one question, where is Star? Star, get your ass up here!”

I laughed and took off up the stairs to where he was.

“Now look at this beautiful girl. How could she ever doubt that she couldn’t out perform me? I think she did a damn good job.”

I blushed as the audience went wild.

“Please Jon… you’re a legend… I could never out play you,” I said with a smile.

He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him, “Well I say that the audience agrees with me and that you did out play me, at least tonight.”

I giggled, “Whatever you say.”

“Good, hey do you like Kevin Smith?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen all his movies. He’s awesome,” I replied.

“Well he did a short movie for New York. Let’s check it out,” he said.

“Let’s,” I agreed as the stage we were on went black and his short film started to play.

* * * *

I had to admit watching Jon Bon Jovi with Michelle made me a little jealous but Liz and Riss reassured me that he was just one of her favorite performers. I sighed as we sunk into the van for the ride back to the hotel. No sooner had Michelle sat down, she leaned on me and was sound asleep. I knew that tonight was not only physically exhausting on her but emotionally as well.

When we got back to the hotel I didn’t have the heart to wake her so I carried her up to her room. Steve had her card key which helped out a lot. He opened the door for me and I took her inside tucking her into bed with her clothes still on. She didn’t even stir once as I got her settled into her room. I kissed her forehead gently and left leaving a note on her bedside table for her.

I walked into my room and laid down on my bed. I couldn’t help but think of Michelle. Tonight was the first time I ever realized that there was more to her then what meets the eye. She is more normal then any of us in the business and I couldn’t help but want to help her. She said we have but there was just this nagging feeling that there was something else that she wasn’t completely telling me or any of us for that matter. I sighed softly knowing that one day she’d tell and I would be here for her everyday until then and everyday after then. I let my thoughts of Michelle and what she could possibly be hiding lull myself into a deep sleep.