CHAPTER FOUR
 

~On stage during the concert~

For some reason I couldn’t keep my mind on the concert. I kept thinking about Jill and then I got thinking about Michelle. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to just tell Jill to leave and call Michelle up in a panic and tell her everything.

“Damn it Nick. Pay attention!” AJ sneered as we passed each other on stage. I began to focus more on what I was doing then what I was thinking. After a few more numbers it was time for a costume change. I changed and just sat there.

“Yo Nick you ok?”

I looked up to see Brian standing there. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“You don’t look it and you aren’t acting like you’re just fine.” Kevin stressed as he joined him.

“I just got a lot of things on my mind guys. Honestly I’m fine and I’m sorry I’m not performing my best tonight.”

“Dude its ok. We’re just worried about you.” Brian said while placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Positions guys” one of our managers called out.

“I know. Let’s go finish this shall we.” I said trying to show them nothing was wrong, when in all actuality, everything was wrong.

* * * *

“That was the best.” Liz said while we walked backstage.

I laughed as I showed the guard my pass. “Yeah it was though something seemed to be wrong with Nick.”

“I agree.” Riss said while she passed through the checkpoint and we continued or way back. “Though you would know better beings you have the crush on him.”

I smiled. “So I like the boy. He’s sweet.”

“Michelle… have a crush… Oh my we need to call the press.” Liz said making us all laugh. “So are you going to tell him?” She questioned flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder nonchalantly.

“I was hoping to talk to him about it. I mean I want to find out if there’s a chance he feels the same way.” I said with a sigh. I really did want to tell him I wanted to get to know him better.

Riss smiled. “See Liz. I told you.”

“This is too cute. I can’t wait to meet him Shell.” Liz said while throwing her arms around my shoulders while as we continued to walk farther into the back of the arena.

“Guys please... “I said blushing. “It’s nothing. I doubt anything will come of this.”

“Yeah but you’re still hoping which makes this cute, and besides when you blush over a boy there is bound to be something there before to long.”

“I agree with Liz. You’ve got it bad. Just admit it.”

I shrugged ignoring them as we got closer to the dressing rooms, which meant closer to me seeing Nick again.

* * * *

“BABY!!”  Following the scream I had a pair of arms around my neck.

“Jill I thought we were going to talk about this. We’re not together yet.”

“But Nickolas…” I cringed. “…I thought you said we’d be together again.”

“No Jill, I said we’d talk about it. You just up and left. That wasn’t fair to me.”

“I know and I said I’m sorry and I just want to be with you.” She said looking deep into my eyes.

“Jill please...” I tried to get out of her grasp. “We need to talk about this.”

“What’s there to talk about baby? I love you. That’s all that we need.”  She said as she firmly planted her lips on mine. My body took over and what I told it to do it didn’t do. I kissed her back though I desperately didn’t want to.

I didn’t hear my dressing room door open or my bodyguard say that I was in here without company. Then I heard it, the gasp and the breaking of something hitting the ground. I pushed Jill off of me in time to see Michelle standing there with Marissa and another girl. Michelle was in totally shock and I could see the hurt and the tears forming in her eyes.

“Michelle…” I started to try to explain what she saw but she ran out of the doorway before she even heard me.

“Nick who was that?” Jill asked while I felt her arm snake around my waist and her chin on my shoulder.

I shrugged her off and pushed her away from me. “That was the girl I am falling for. Jill it’s over between us. I don’t want you.”

“You have a damn sure funny way of showing your affection Nick. I can’t believe you’re just like all the other assholes she’s started to fall for!” The blonde one snapped and ran out after her.

I looked at Marissa who just stood there and shook her head only to turn around and run after her. I looked at Jill who was just standing there in shock.  “When I get back I expect you gone.” I sneered at her and ran after Marissa.

I caught up with Marissa in the parking lot only to see the other one standing there and a green truck squeal off.

“There she goes.”

“Liz you didn’t get to her in time!” Riss panicked.

“What do you mean?” I questioned.

“When she gets pissed she drives crazy.” Liz explained as we watched her truck fly off at a high rate of speed. “We don’t let her drive when she’s like this.”

I looked at Liz only to see her gasp and start running. I looked up only to find that Michelle had taken a corner in the parking lot to fast and her truck flipped.

“OMG SHELL!!!”

I took off running after Liz. We got to her truck at the same time and I helped pull her out but it was to late… she was dead. I just stood there and screamed. I couldn’t believe that I had caused this. I broke down for what felt like the fiftieth million time so far this week.

****

I watched as Nick sat there on the ground screaming my name with Liz and Riss. I felt bad but I didn’t mean for this to happen and I surely didn’t mean for me to die. I was just upset. Things like this happen all the time right? I have seen this time and time again. I mean I should have been used to seeing it. But then someone please tell me why the hell this hurt so much worse then when the other guys did it to me?

I walked over to where Nick was sitting with his hands in his hands and hugged him. I knew he would be okay with time. It wasn’t like I meant that much to him anyways. I didn’t hold that special place in his heart and I never would have. I looked at Marissa and Liz. I knew they would be okay. They would help each other with this. It was a common thing with us. We always helped each other. I got up from my kneeling position, wiped the tear from my eye and walked with the young man who came for me.

“Good bye guys.” I whispered as the young man and I walked into the bright light that lay ahead of me.