CHAPTER FIVE
 

“NOOOOO!!!!” I shot straight up screaming bumping my head on the top of my bunk. I was drenched in sweat and I couldn’t catch my breath.  That was the worse dream I had ever had. I looked at the clock, which read noontime. I looked out the window and saw we were still on the Interstate. I crawled out of bed with a new headache forming rubbing my head. I couldn’t believe the dream I just had. “That’s it.” I thought. “I am calling Michelle.”

I sat down on my couch grabbing my cell phone and the piece of paper that had her cell number written on it and dialed. It took a few rings but she finally picked up. I smiled as I heard her voice on the other end and was relieved to once again that it was only a dream.

“Hello.”

“Hey Michelle.”

“Nick?”

I smiled. “Yeah it’s me.” I heard her giggle and then the sound of a car door shut. I decided that I was going to start to talk about my feelings but not to the guys. I was going to talk to Michelle.

* * * *

“Riss, my phone is ringing. Turn it down.” I said as I grabbed my phone. She just looked at me funny and turned down the radio. “Hello.” I said once I could hear who it was.

“Hey Michelle.”

My heart skipped a beat when I heard the voice. “Nick?”

“Yeah it’s me.”

He sounded really upset so I pulled off onto the side of the road. Marissa looked at me weird and I mouthed to her that she needed to take the wheel while I talked to who was on the phone. “What’s wrong, hon. You sound really upset?”

“I had a really bad dream, and I think it’s about time I talk to someone about what I am feeling and I don’t want it to be the guys. I was wondering if I could talk to you.”

“Nick you should know you can talk to me. “ I pointed to the exit that Riss needed to take as I talked to him. “What’s up?”

I heard him sigh a little. “Michelle I don’t really want to do this anymore.”

“What do you mean this?” I asked wondering what was wrong.

“Michelle I don’t want to be a Backstreet Boy anymore. I hate it. I can’t have a normal relationship because of it.”

“How so honey?” I was beginning to catch his drift. I was there and had been there for a while now.

“Well my ex-girlfriend, who I thought loved me, left me without any reason. Then a few days ago I get a letter out of the blue saying it was because she couldn’t deal with the stress of me being who I was.”

“Then she really wasn’t in love with you honey.”

“I know but it still hurts. It seems no matter who it is that is what always happens. They leave me because of who I am.”

“Nick. Doing what you do makes you happy right.”

“Yeah.”

“Then screw everyone else. If the person you’re with doesn’t support you in what you do then they aren’t worth your time.”

I heard him chuckle. “You know AJ was right. Talking is helping. Though I don’t think I would ever be able to talk to him about it.”

I smiled. “Well I will always be here. Just call. So tell me about the dream.”

“No way.”

“Oh come one Nicky.”

“No. Hey I have to go. We just hit the venue. I’ll talk to you later ok.”

“Ok Nick. Bye.” I heard him say bye and hung up my phone and stared out the window.

“What to talk about it?”

I looked at Marissa. “No I shouldn’t. Let’s leave it as Nick needed some advice and came to me.”

She nodded and looked back at the road smiling. I sighed softly and turned the radio back up returning my gaze to the road.

* * * *

The show rocked and I couldn’t believe how much my conversation with Michelle helped me. She was so understanding, and her advice actually made sense. I continued to call her every morning and every night after the concerts just to tell her what I was feeling and how they all went. We would talk all night. She told me about what she had done so far in Colorado and that she couldn’t wait for our tour to get there.  I finally had to tell her how I felt. She was becoming a best friend and I felt she needed to know it. I already told Brian and he understood. He thought it was awesome that I felt that way about her and that if I had a problem with the group or something I had an outside contact that I could talk to. He said to him that it was very important and that both him and the guys have seen how much it helped. That night on the phone I decided I was going to tell her.

“Hey Michelle I got something to tell you.” I said into the hotel room phone.

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow when I see you?” She complained into the phone.

“No. This needs to be said now.” I told her.

“I didn’t do it I swear.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes you did.”

“You have no proof. HA!”  She said laughing.

“Yes I do.” I shot back.

“Fine. What did I do?” She said with an exasperated sigh.

“Well you’ve become one of my best friends. You know, like up there with Brian. I can talk to you about anything and I like that.”

There was complete silence on the phone and for a moment there I thought I heard it drop onto the floor. I heard some struggling then she came back on.

“Sorry I dropped the phone in shock. I thought you said I was your best friend. Like up there with Brian.”

I smiled. “I did.”

“Nick, I’m honored. I’m glad you feel that way. You’re my best friend too.”

“GET OFF THE PHONE!!” I heard someone yell.

Michelle groaned. “Hey Liz wants to do something so I better go. I’ll see you when we can meet up tomorrow ok.”

“Sounds good. I’ll call if I can get you passes or something.”

“Ok bye.” With that she hung up and I went to see if Brian wanted to do something.