CHAPTER ELEVEN

~ TRUTH ~

"So what happened whit you and Jake last night? You never came back to the movie." Kylie asked as we played basketball with Leighanne and Mandy the next day.

I didn't want to talk about last night. Neither incidents. I knew that Kylie, being the persistently nosy best friend I had come to know, would press on until I answered. "Not as much as he wanted." I replied as I nailed a 3 pointer. Basketball had never been my forte as dancing and singing had, but I had always had the ability to kick Kylie's ass.

"He wanted you to have sex with him? What did you do?" Mandy questioned, passing the ball to Kylie, her teammate.

"I said no and asked John to escort him off the property." I explained stealing the ball from Mandy, passing it to Leighanne, my teammate, and she shot it from the foul line, adding more points to our strong lead.

"John?" inquired Leighanne, shooting another 2 pointer and making it.

"My butler. Then where did you go? " Kylie asked as I once again stole the ball from her and hit another 3 pointer. The score was 45 for me and Leighanne and 5 for Mandy and Kylie. Before I could answer, she interrupted me. "Okay we give up. It is impossible to win."

"I told you that before, but do you believe me?" I teased, trying to get away from where I knew the subject was heading.

"Nope, I can never believe you." Kylie shot back, as we walked into the house, to the room I had always called my bedroom, since I had first slept over her house. That was the room I always slept in when we had sleep-overs...if we slept.

Once we had all settled ourselves around the room; Mandy in the directors chair, next to the bed, Leighanne perched on the desk chair, Kylie sprawled across the plush carpet of the floor, and me on the bed, Mandy said "So, where did you go?"

I sighed. Somehow we had managed to get back onto the dreaded subject. "Out to the track." I told them, praying to God that they would end the subject there.

"Did you see AJ? He left in the middle of the second movie." Leighanne questioned.

This was exactly where I didn't want to go. I almost didn't answer, but eventually I needed to tell them. "Yes. He...was with me." I replied finally.

Kylie, hearing the hesitation, inquired, "What happened now?" She knew of everything AJ, and I had been through, in the past month.

"We...kissed, and he told me he...loved me." I whispered, predicting their reactions in my head.

"WHAT???!!!!" screeched all three girls in unison.

That was the exact reaction I knew I would get.

Trina stuck her head in the door. "Are you girls okay?" she asked in her slow, calm, rolling voice that still had a slight accent from Japan where she came from when she was 15. I nodded and she left without asking any more. That is what I really liked about her. She automatically trusted us, no matter what. That was a both a blessing... and a fault.

"Where talking about AJ Mclean, right? The one your are permanently pissed at. The one who you told me you would kill before the tour is over?" Mandy questioned in disbelief.

I nodded.

"What did you say?" they asked once again in unison.

"Nothing. I kinda just got up, and left." I replied, not meeting the curious looks I was getting.

"Okay, so you and Jake got in a fight. You had him escorted off the property. You went to the track, in the pouring rain, and AJ followed you. Then you kissed. You, then ran away. Is that right?" reiterated Leighanne.

I nodded, yet again, afraid if I were to talk that I would cry. I hated crying. If you cried, you were perceived as weak. I was not weak, nor did I want to be thought of as weak.

After a very long pause, Kylie gently asked, "What would you have said?"

I hesitated for a long time. I knew what I wanted to say, but didn't know how to phrase it so it wouldn't sound dumb or sappy. In other words I wanted the shortest, simplest answer there was. I finally, thought of how to say it. I knew that this was the answer none of them really expected. Hell, neither did I. "That I loved him too." I answered, my voice wavering slightly.

Mandy was so stunned she fell off the director's chair.

Kylie snorted.

"Ha, Ha, funny one their, Mags. I really don't believe you would think that we would believe that. You hate AJ with a passion." Leighanne laughed.

I looked at them with tears in my eyes. "You know Leighanne? I don't really believe it either, but last night, since I didn't sleep, I figured out that sometimes your feelings are hidden or disguised." I replied.

Kylie took one look at my face, stopped laughing and said, "You guys, I really think she's serious."

Mandy and Leighanne stopped laughing too and stared at me questionably. Slowly, once more, I nodded. "What am I going to do?" I asked, seeking the advice I needed.

"Just tell him." advised Mandy.

"Tell him what?" I questioned dumbly.

"The truth." answered Kylie.

"But...but..." I was desperately trying to think of an excuse to worm my way out of it. "But what about Kevin?" I inquired triumphantly.

"Kevin likes you, but AJ loves you. If you really feel the same way as he does - which is obvious - Kevin would fully understand. Knowing Kevin, he would probably try to be happy for you guys." replied Leighanne. "Sorry, hun, there is no way out of it."

"Why don't you want to tell him? I could see if he didn't feel the same about you but...." Mandy asked her voice trailing off. She looked as confused as I felt.

I sighed. "What if he does what Brad did? I already had a hole put in my heart once. I don't think I could handle another one. I don't want another." I replied, putting my head in my hands. I quickly took my hands away from my face, remembering what happened last time, I had placed my hands on my face.

"Lindsey....AJ can get rid of that hole, if - and only if - you let him." Kylie answered softly. She then said to Mandy and Leighanne "Let's let Mags think about all this."

They silently got up and left my room. I laid back on my bed and closed my eyes, as if to keep to keep the tears in my eyes.

"Brad?" I whispered "Brad can you hear me? Oh....Bradley I don't want to get rid of that hole. You are that hole. You are that hole... and I don't want to get rid of you. What can I do? I wish you were here. It is so damn hard!" I finally let the tears come.

All of a sudden I heard a voice saying,"Tell him, Linny, just tell him."  I knew it was Brad. I suddenly felt at peace and knew just what I would tell AJ. I began to cry harder, this time out of relief and happiness.

I eventually cried myself into a deep, sweet, dreamless sleep. I normally didn't fall asleep during the day, but I had so many different things and emotions running through my mind and the night before that I couldn't help it.