CHAPTER SEVEN

~ STRONG ~

"Mags? Mags, where are you?"

I heard my name being called by Leighanne as I drifted awake.

"AJ are you sure she came back to the hotel? Brian asked.

"Yes." AJ answered. I could hear the fear in all their voices.  It was stronger in AJ's than anyone else though.

"Mags? You in there?" Mandy questioned, knocking on the door. She tried to open it, but it was locked. I didn't remember locking it.

"Yes." I called softly, sitting up slowly.

"Ssssshhhhhh. I think I heard something. Mags? Is that you?" Nick told the group

"Uh-huh." I replied raising my voice.

I heard someone gasp. "Honey? Open the door. We have been looking for you for the past 5 hours." said Leighanne motheringly.

"Hold on." I responded, looking into the piece of mirror that hadn't shattered. I had apparently I had fallen asleep on some glass. It had created 4 cuts on my face. A cut under each eye, along my jaw-line and one in the middle of my forehead. Each was still bleeding. I took the glass slowly out of each cut. I, then, saw my hand. It was still covered by the towel. I took it off. It revealed my hand, caked with dry blood. Some of the larger cuts still oozed a little.

"Mags, please open the door?" begged Kevin. I had forgotten that everyone was still outside the bathroom.

I wanted to open my fist. I yelped in pain. More of the cuts began to bleed.

"Are you okay?" asked Nick.

I opened the door with my right, un-cut hand. Leighanne and Mandy went to hug me, but I backed away, stepping on pieces of glass.

Mandy looked at me and gasped, "What happened?"

"Nothing." I replied, trying to walk out of the bathroom, but got dizzy. So, I just leaned against the doorway of the bathroom.

"Yea, sure." Howie said, looking behind me at the glass and blood that pretty much covered the floor, and counter.

"The mirror just broke, and cut my hand. I got really tired, and fell asleep." I lied, as everything began to get blurry.

"It just broke?" inquired Brian, not believing me.

"Yes. Why don't you believe me?" I asked, my knees buckling, so I sat down on the floor as my head began to pound.

"We believe you." Mandy replied. She then muttered to Nick "Should we take her to the hospital?"

" I don't need no damn hospital. I'm fine. It's just a little bit of blood." I responded as everything began to get black. Within a few mintues everything was totally black and I fainted.

******

I opened my eyes. Mandy and Leighanne were sitting next to me. It took me a little while to make the realization I was in the hospital. "Sorry." I mumbled to them.

"For what?" asked Mandy.

"I don't know." I answered. "What happened?"

"You fainted, so we took you to the hospital. You got 4 stitches under each eyes, 5 on your forehead, and 15 along your jaw. None of the cuts on your hand were deep enough to get stitches." explained Leighanne.

"They think I tried to kill myself, right?" I questioned. The girls nodded. "I didn't really. I just got mad."

"At what?" inquired Mandy softly.

"Myself, AJ, my brother, my mom, my dad .... the world. I answered staring at my hand, which was covered in white gauze.

"You have a brother?" asked Leighanne, "Is he Brad? AJ said that was who you were talking to."

"He told you?" I moaned. I had hoped somehow AJ would keep his big mouth shut.

"Kev. made him. He didn't want too. AJ never has been good with secrets." Mandy told me. "Who is Brad?"

"My big brother." I replied sadly.

"Where is he?" inquired Leighanne.

I looked at both girls, wondering if I could trust them. "Dead." I muttered.

"How?" Mandy pressed on.

"He...he killed himself." I informed them.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Leighanne asked sympathetically.

I sighed, "Yea....It was like 5 years ago...."
 

**Flashback**

"Linny? Linny come here." called my 18 year old brother, Brad. He sounded scared. I had never heard him scared. Ever. Not in my 14 years of life.

I walked across the hallway, from my room to his. He was sitting on his bed. When I came in he shoved something under his pillow. "Yea?" I asked from the doorway. He looked as if he had been crying.

"I don't think I can take you to gymnastics tonight." he informed me as I sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Why not?" I asked curiously.

"Just because, okay?" he snapped. He had never snapped or yelled at me ever before. My mouth hung open in shock. He saw my stunned face and immediately apologized. "I'm sorry. I have a headache."

"Are you ok?" I inquired nosily, picking up his stuffed monkey. It was dirty, ratty and falling apart. Our dad had given it to him about a week before he left us. I had gotten an elephant. My mom had accidentally thrown it away when I was ten.

"Yea. I'm fine." Brad assured me, smiling. "Can Kylie walk with you?"

"I'll call her. If not I can walk home by myself." I told him, "I'm not a baby anymore, B. I'm 14."

"Yeah, but you'll always be my baby sister." he responded.

"Where's Mom?"

"Where do you think?" I asked angrily, "In her room, getting high. Pretending like we don't know."

"Linny...." Brad sighed, "If something happens take care of Mom."

"Bradley..." I smiled at him, "Nothin'll ever happen to you."

"You never know." he responded.

I looked at him. He seemed different. It scared me. "Kay whatever. I have homework." I walked out of the room, still holding the monkey. When I got in my room I realized I had it. I turned back around, and said to Brad "Catch." I went to throw it at him.

"Nah. Keep it." Brad told me, smiling forlornly.

"But Daddy - " I began to say.

"I'm 18, Linny." he interrupted, "Now go do your homework."

I turned around, but instead of going into my room, I went downstairs to get something to eat.

As I ate the cheese and bologna sandwich, I heard a muffled pop, and a thud, above me, in Brad's room. "B.?" I called, "Brad? Bradley?" For some reason I felt panic overtake me. I knew something had happened as I shot up the stairs.

When I ran into Brad's room, he was leaning against the wall, his face pale. His hand was pressed on his head, jut above his left ear. Blood oozed through his fingers. "I'm sorry Linny. So sorry." he whispered. I could hear the pain in his voice and I could see it in his face.

I didn't understand, until I saw the gun in his lap. I sat down next to him, and wiped some blood off his face. I sighed, "B... it's okay."

"Your so strong. I wish I was strong like you. Be strong for Mom." He told me. his voice strained.

"No you are so much stronger than me." I replied taking his hand from his hand, and holding it in mine.

His eyes closed and he said to me "Lindsey, I love you." It was barely audible.

"I love you, too." I responded, hugging him. Within a couple of seconds I could tell he was gone. I picked up the phone and dialed 911. The operator picked up and told me, they'd be there in a minute.

As I leaned him back on the bed, I noticed a book that had my name on it. I picked it up and opened it. I read the writing on the inside of the front cover aloud.


Dear Linny, I'm really sorry about what I did. Please forgive me. I didn't want to hurt you, but I had to. God was calling me. I had to answer. Use this to write your feelings in here. Write whatever you want to tell me. Wherever I am, I'll see it. Tell everyone I'm sorry, I love you Linny. You be strong, and stay string. I love you Brad....

**Present**

"....P.S: Good luck at your gymnastics meet on Saturday." I answered Leighanne wiping the tears from my face.

"Oh Mags." Mandy cried. I let her hug me.

"So, then what was AJ mumbling about?" Leighanne asked Mandy.

"He said she was at Atlanta Memorial talking to Brad." replied Mandy.

"I was.  He followed me." I added.

"But....? Isn't he dead?" Leighanne questioned.

"Yea." I answered.

"Why would you got to Atlanta Memorial?"

"He's buried there. He told me that once he died he wanted to be buried in Atlanta He did so much for me. I figured I could do that for him." I explained.

"Why Atlanta?" Mandy asked perplexed.

"When my Daddy still lived with is, he took me and B. to some track event where the Olympics in Atlanta. B. loved to run and told us that he was going to win the gold medal for tack, in the Olympics. He said 'When I die bury me here.'" I answered, "Where are the guys?" I wanted to change the subject desperately.

"The show." replied Leighanne as a doctor waked in the room.

"Nice to see you awake Miss Magdalena." he said shaking me good hand, "I'm Dr. Cory."

"Yea. When do I get to leave?" I asked anxiously.

"Whenever you want to check out." he said taking a look at my hand. "Just make sure you keep it elevated, and all that."

"Okay." I said getting out of the bed and walking toward the door with the girls following me.