CHAPTER EIGHT

~ NO IDEA ~

"AJ, see what your nosiness got you into?" Kevin asked AJ, as they entered the bus the next morning.

"He didn't know she would react like that." interjected Nick for AJ.

"You're right, but he shouldn't have done it anyway. It was none of his business. It was very private to Mags. You know how secretive she is. If she thought you needed to know, she would have told you." Mandy argued.

"What do you mean? You know don't you?" interrogated Brian.

"Yes, We do know. As Mandy said she would have told you, if you needed to know it. We aren't about to tell you." replied Leighanne, as I ran up to the bus. "Now don't say anything about this or anything related to it."

Everyone muttered their okay's, and walked toward the back of the bus, or the bunks. When I got on the bus 10 minutes later, Nick, Kevin and AJ were playing Nintendo in the back of the bus. Howie, Brian, Leighanne, and Mandy were in their beds.

I picked up my portable CD player up off the table and my book, Gone With the Wind. I had been reading it for a couple of days. I got up on my bed and began to read the book. I had been reading it for about 30 minutes when my CD player shut off. I looked up and saw AJ standing next to my bunk.  "What?" I asked, taking off my headphones. Talking to AJ was the last thing I wanted. I was still really pissed at him.

"Can we talk?" he asked quietly, not looking at me.

"No." I replied, putting my headphones back on, and turning the CD player back on as high as it would go. I went back to reading.

He pulled the book away from me, and took my headphones off. "We really need to talk." he said urgently.

"I have nothing to say to you." I responded, turning around so that I faced the wall.

"Then just listen, please?" he pleaded, placing his hand on my side. I immediately pushed it off, but I felt an emotion, I had never felt before. I wasn't really sure what it was.

It scared me.

"Nothing you have to say interests me." I replied coldly, still facing the wall, and trying to figure out what I had just felt.

"Please?" he begged, as I turned over and got off my bed, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry, doesn't do shit, now does it?" I told him, walking into the bathroom. The one place, he hopefully wouldn't follow me, but with AJ you never know.

He was about to walk to the back of the bus, when he saw something sticking out from under my mattress. He made the mistake of pulling it out. It was a thick diary, that had the name Linny scrawled across it. It was tattered and torn. "Who is Linny?" he whispered to himself as he opened it and read the 1st entry.


Brad,
It's been a week since you've died. They're making me take therapy. I hate it. Like some old lady with degree gonna understand. The only person who would understand is you. Not even Kylie. This is so hard. You don't even understand. I love you.
Linny

He flipped forward some pages.

Brad,
I hate this. I hate Mom. I hate dad. I hate Kylie. I hate everyone. Why did you have to do this to me? I hate my life. Today was the 7th time I've tried to kill myself, since you died. Mom caught me before I could. She's sending me down with Grama. Out in California. Today is the 1st anniversary of being drug free. Love ya, Linny

'I can't believe she tried to kill herself.' AJ thought, as he turned to the last entry.

Brad,
I went to see you yesterday. This asshole AJ followed me there. Of course I spazzed. I ran all the way back to the hotel. I was in the bathroom, and I just got really mad, and smashed the mirror. I had 18 cuts (don't worry it didn't really hurt. The pain of losing you overpowered that pain. It's been 5 years, and it still hurts. I've given up on trying to make it go away.) I fell asleep on the floor and that cut up my face. I got stitches, but I'll live. I love you, Linny

"I can't believe she had these problems. I never knew she was a bitch for reasons." AJ muttered to himself as I opened the bathroom door.

I saw him shove something behind his back. He looked at me guiltily. "What did you do?" I asked him, walking toward him.

As he back away, from me I saw the corner of my tattered diary "N-nutten."he stammered.

I felt anger rising inside me, like lava in a volcano. He had my diary. Things in there are things no one knows. "Give. Me. My. Diary." O said through clenched teeth. I tried desperately to control my rage.

"W-what d-diary?" he stuttered.

"You know damn well." I told him clenching and unclenching my fists.

Nick walked up behind him, and took my diary from him, "What's this?" he asked holding it up.

"Nick..." AJ whispered frantically.

"Mine." I responded. My anger blocked my thinking. Nick threw it to me. I caught it and put it on my bed. I turned back around and looked at AJ, who smiled innocently at me.  The anger became to much to handle. I flew at AJ my fists flying.

"YOU JERK! I HATE YOU! YOU ASS! YOU THINK YOUR GOD'S DAMN GIFT TO THE EARTH! I HATE YOU SO MUCH! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! YOU B*ST*RD!" I screamed, as I slammed my fists into AJ's face, chest and stomach. "YOU HAD NO RIGHT! I HATE YOU!

It took Howie, Brian, and Nick to get me away from him. "LET ME GO!" I yelled, still swinging, my fists trying to hit AJ, even though he was about 3 feet away from me. "LET ME GO, DAMN IT! HE DESERVES EVERYTHING HE GETS!" I pushed Brian and Howie away from me, but Nick held tightly. "NICK LET ME GO!" I screamed as the bus turned. Nick lost his footing, and let me go. I hit the wall, but reacted quickly.

I ran back at AJ. I threw a punch with all my strength. It hit him in the nose. Blood began to gush out of it.

I brought my fist back up, but Kevin grabbed me and hugged me tightly. "MAGS! Mags! Stop it!" he whispered in my ear, soothingly rubbing my back.

I stared at AJ, over Kevin's shoulder. Bruises on his face were beginning to show already. Both his eyes were beginning to swell. He was wiping at his nose with one hand, his lip with the other. "Why?" I whispered.

"Why what, honey?" he whispered back.

"Why?" I repeated, a little louder, staring, at AJ.

"I didn't -" AJ, began but Mandy put a tissue over his mouth.

I backed away from Kevin. AJ's body tense up, preparing for another attack. I grabbed my cell phone and walked to the bathroom.

I quickly closed the door, and locked it. I sat on the floor listening to Kylie's phone ring.

"HI -" Kylie started.

"Kylie? He -" I began.

"I can't get to the phone right now. You know what to do. Ciao!" finished Kylie's answering machine.

I hung up the phone. "No, Ky. I don't know what to do." I said staring at the wall, blankly, "I have no idea."